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5 Funny Figures of Speech Wordplay is a fertile field for study in English. Although the following forms of humor should be used sparingly if at all, writers should be familiar with them and their possibilities. 1. Malapropism A malapropism, the substitution of a word with a similar-sounding but incongruous word, may be uttered accidentally or, for humorous effect, may be deliberate. The name derives from that of Mrs. Malaprop, a character in an eighteenth-century play who often uttered such misstatements; one of her comments, for example, is “she’s as headstrong as an  allegory ,” when she meant to say “alligator.” (The word ultimately derives from the French phrase  mal à propos , meaning “poorly placed.”) Numerous characters are assigned this amusing attribute; the Shakespearean character Dogberry’s name inspired an alternate label. 2. Spoonerism Spoonerisms are similar to malapropisms; the distinction is that a spoonerism is a case of metathesis, in which parts o...

BUILD YOUR VOCABULARY - Shradha Kaul Did you know that words could be a source of enjoyment? There a number of interesting ways one could increase one’s word power. Once you get into the loop of reading, you tend to veer towards an exploration into this world of words. People have always wondered why the plural of foot is feet, goose is geese but then why is moose not meese ? There are a number of such anomalies that exist in the world of English language, we will not of course try and unravel this unfathomable mystery but go on to understand how we could learn as much as possible. Through the course of my relation building with the language, I discovered many things and would like to share some of them. Before I go on, I would like to reiterate that ‘words symbolize knowledge’. An erudite person stands out because of his/ her vocabulary. Learned people possess some of the most remarkable vocabularies. While reading books by great people, I have felt the energy of vo...

“Expedient” vs. “Expeditious” What’s the difference between  expedient  and  expeditious ? The words were originally synonymous, but their meanings diverged long ago, and the distinction is small but significant. Both words derive from the Latin term  expedire , which means “disengage” or “prepare.” (The literal meaning is “free the feet.”) As you may have guessed, that’s also the source of  expedition , in the original sense of “journey” and the associated meaning of “those on a journey.” (The adjective form is  expeditionary .) From  expedire  came the word  expedite , meaning “dispatch or issue,” “do promptly,” or “speed up.” ( Expediate  is an unnecessary variant.) Two adjectives developed from this term:  Expeditious  originally meant “fitting” or “useful,” but it later acquired the sense of “promptly efficient” and lost its original meaning, which  expedient  retains. Expedient  has two connotat...

Schadenfreude Alert! Inside a Collection of  Wretched Writing "You got further plucking the chicken in front of you than trying to start on one up a tree. Especially when the tree was in another country, and there might not even be another chicken" By  Katy Steinmetz   Ross and Kathy Petras spend their days neck-deep in unfortunate words. The brother-sister team behind a new collection of “crimes against the English language”–called  Wretched Writing  (Perigree; 224 pages) – have also compiled very bad poetry and countless anthologies of “stupidest” quotations. If you’re in need of a new back-of-the-toilet book, their latest pièce de putridity just might be for you. NewsFeed spoke to the authors about how they decided what was truly wretched, where they managed to dig it up and why readers should endure the woeful work, too. Filed under:  celebrity poets “I draw a hot sorrow bath in my despair room.” - Keanu Reeves,  Ode to Happine...

The Secrets of How to Write Short "America's writing coach" explains how to artfully write a tweet, epitaph or ransom note By  Katy Steinmetz     Roy Peter Clark is so meta. The senior scholar at the Poynter Institute has written or edited over a dozen books on writing, handing out pointers to pre-teens and Pulitzer Prize winners along the way. In his latest offering,  How to Write Short :  Word Craft for Fast Times   , Clark surveys all forms of short writing, from tweets and Facebook posts to ransom notes, prayers, baseball cards, sonnets, lyrics and fortunes in fortune cookies. (His favorite: “Ignore previous cookie.”) TIME spoke to Clark about his stylistic tips, how language is changing and what we can learn from  Macbeth . First things first, what is writing short? For the book, it’s 300 words or fewer. That often constitutes “fair use” and 300 words is about the number of words that appear on a single, type-written page. But ...

C'est la vie  by Shradha Kaul The English language is a treat.  It has so many variations, it is very deep-rooted, it has taken over the world and best of all it has accommodated many foreign languages in some form or the other.  It has used the best from many languages and at the same time retained its distinctiveness. This is one of the main reasons for its acceptance the world over. So, a foreign phrase or word interspersed in the language doesn’t come as a surprise, it only adds to its holistic nature. This trait had led to the accumulation of a vast vocabulary too. According to sources, “the English language is closing in on the one million word mark.” Many of us almost get taken aback by the very Indian or Hindi sounding word which we come across in English. Some very popular examples are pyjamas, curry, pundit, mantra, avatar…of course the list is endless. Likewise, you will find many foreign phrases which are found not only in the written word but are ...

12 Terms for Tests and Related Expressions What’s the difference between an acid test and a litmus test? Can you test-drive something that can’t be driven, or test-fire something that can’t be fired? Here are literal and figurative definitions of some phrases that include the word  test . 1.  Acid test : a chemical test used to distinguish gold from other metals; by analogy, a very important or intense test of character or performance 2.  Alpha test : a test of an early version of a company’s software or hardware by company employees or by consultants 3.  Beta test : a test of a beta, or revised, version of a company’s software or hardware by people outside the company (often, a sample of prospective customers) before it is finalized and generally released for sale 4.  Litmus test : a test for acidity using litmus, an organic dye absorbed onto a medium called litmus paper that changes color when exposed to chemicals; by analogy, a test in which one compo...

‘The Infatuations,’ by Javier Marías By  EDWARD ST. AUBYN Published: August 8, 2013 When a writer chooses to express something in a particular way, all the other approaches he might have chosen are usually encouraged to disappear in the hope of creating an atmosphere of authority and precision. Javier Marías, the masterly Spanish novelist, follows the opposite policy and, even after he has filled a descriptive vacancy, continues to interview other candidates for the job. The rival formulations turn up one after another, in sub-clauses that offer everything from subtle qualification to flat contradiction. Here is the narrator of “The Infatuations,” Marías’s new novel, contemplating the memory of Miguel and Luisa, the husband and wife she grew to think of as the Perfect Couple, if only on the thin basis of observing them have breakfast each morning in the same cafe: Emiliano Ponzi THE INFATUATIONS By Javier Marías Translated by Margaret Jull Costa 33...

What’s the difference between  insidious  and  invidious ,  and what about  perfidious  and  pernicious , for that matter? None of the four words is synonymous with any of the others, though your connotation radar may correctly sense that they all have unpleasant associations. Insidious , which derives from the Latin word for “ambush” (the second syllable is cognate with  sit ), means “treacherous” or “seductive,” with an additional connotation of “subtle,” in the sense of a gradual, cumulative effect. (This, unlike the other meanings, is neutral, but the word is rarely used except in a negative sense.) For example, in medical terminology, an insidious disease is one that remains hidden until it is well established. The noun form is  insidiousness , and the adverbial form is  insidiously . Invidious , meanwhile, which stems from the Latin word for  envy , refers to feelings of animosity, discontent, or resentment, or to ob...

What’s so difficult about writing an email?  Nothing. That’s the problem: It’s too easy, and you should take care that a professional message is just that — especially if you use email primarily for social interaction and are unaccustomed to sending business emails. Here are some guidelines for businesslike electronic communication. 1.  If you write professional emails from a personal address rather than a company account, use a professional-looking address. Don’t ditch your quirky or ribald account name, but acquire a more sedate one, consisting simply of your name and/or a description of your professional services, for business communications. Also, avoid using animations, complicated fonts, and busy backgrounds in your messages. 2.  Use the message header to encourage recipients to read your message, stating the purpose of the message distinctly and concisely. 3.  Use a formal salutation unless you’re on a first-name basis with the recipient — for example...

“Least,” “Less,” “More,” and “Most” The adjectives  least ,  less ,  more , and  most  present difficulties for  writers  when the words are paired with other adjectives: Should hyphens be employed? And what about when  little ,  much , and similar terms are involved? Generally, do not hyphenate such constructions. The following examples are all correct: “She bought the least expensive shampoo.” “I’ve never heard a less interesting story.” “That wasn’t the most regrettable part.” “We have a more likely explanation.” But use these words cautiously in such sentences. For example, “He made several more successful efforts” is ambiguous: Does it mean that the person added a few successful efforts to his record of previous successful ones, or that the person’s efforts were more successful than previous ones? Some  writers  choose to hyphenate “more successful” when appropriate in such a context, but such a strategy leads t...

The frequent confusion between  amount  and  number  is based on a misunderstanding of a small, simple distinction that the words themselves indicate. Amount  refers to quantities that are measured in bulk or mass — considered as a whole — while  number  pertains to things that can be counted individually: “The amount of square footage in the attached shed is enough for a push lawn mower or a small barbecue,” but “The total number of square feet includes the attached shed’s square footage.” In reference to amount, use the terms  little  or  less  or the phrase “much more”: “The amount left is too little to be of any use.” “The amount is less than I thought.” “The amount is much more than we expected.” In reference to number, use the words  few  or  fewer  or the phrase “many more”: “The number of people who have signed up is too few.” “The number of people here, compared to the number here yesterday...

Choosing When to Use  Who and Whom The whole topic of pronouns is enough to give you a headache, but the time has come to put to rest one of the peskiest pronoun problems once and for all. The rule for knowing when to use  who  and  whom  is simple; applying the rule is not. First, the rule: Who  and  whoever  are for subjects. Who  and  whoever  also follow and complete the meaning of linking verbs. In grammarspeak,  who and  whoever  serve as linking verb complements. Whom  and  whomever  are for objects — all kinds of objects (direct, indirect, of prepositions, of infinitives, and so on). Before applying the rule concerning who/whoever and whom/whomever, check out these sample sentences: Whoever  needs help from Lochness is going to wait a long time. ( Whoever  is the subject of the verb  needs. ) Who  is calling Lulu at this time of night? ( Who  is th...

Congenial vs. Genial "They both derive from that Latin term that also developed into  genius , but their meanings are mostly distinct. Genial  means “friendly” or “sympathetic,” or “mild”; it also describes someone who displays or is marked by genius, but that is a rare usage. Genial  can refer to a person (“She has a genial personality”) or to an inanimate object or phenomenon (“The weather was genial yesterday”). Although  congenial  can be synonymous with genial, the connotation is usually one of having a pleasant and/or sociable attitude (“He is a congenial host”) or being harmonious or of a kindred spirit (“Their congenial interest in the matter may help them cooperate”)."

HOW TO INCREASE YOUR READING SPEED A)   Minimize the number and duration of fixations per line to increase speed. You do not read in a straight line, but rather in a sequence of saccadic movements (jumps). Each of these saccades ends with a fixation, or a temporary snapshot of the text within you focus area (approx. the size of a quarter at 8 inches from reading surface). Each fixation will last ¼ to ½ seconds in the untrained subject. To demonstrate this, close one eye, place a fingertip on top of that eyelid, and then slowly scan a straight horizontal line with your other eye-you will feel distinct and separate movements and periods of fixation. B) E liminate regression and back-skipping to increase speed. The untrained subject engages in regression (conscious rereading) and back-skipping (subconscious rereading via misplacement of fixation) for up to 30% of total reading time. C)   U se conditioning drills to increase horizontal peripheral vision span and ...

FOOTLE:   verb 1 : to talk or act foolishly 2 : to waste time : trifle, fool

1.  Administrator : a person with short-term or long-term responsibility — in the latter sense, usually a generic term; also, one given responsibility over an estate 2.  Archon : one who presides (informal), or a chief magistrate in Athens in classical times 3.  Autocrat : one with absolute power 4.  Boss : someone in authority or control, as a manager or supervisor or a politician who does not have official status as leader of a political entity but has the actual power 5.  Captain : a commander of certain military, law-enforcement, or firefighting units with the official rank of captain, or one who commands a vessel regardless of actual rank, or, by analogy, one who is an acknowledged leader (as in the metaphorical phrase “captain of industry”) 6.  Coach : one who helps others acquire knowledge or develop skills, especially in athletics, either in groups or, as a tutor, individually; also, one of various types of vehicles 7.  Chair  (or chairma...